BONN (FOMC) Due to the wave of church membership resignation of German catholics, which reached a new high point in 2014 with more than 210.000 resignations, Edmund F. Dräcker, the eternal blessed and everlasting president of the Federal Office for Magical Creatures, prepares an encyclical. In this encyclical, named after the opening sentence “With great Enthusiasm“ Edmund F. Dräcker comments as his role as the Pontifex M between reality and fantasy.
President Dräcker sees the massive number of resignations as a prove of the increasing education level of the German citizens.
“Joe Public just knows by now that he has to meet the announcements of the catholic church and its mysteries, like virgin birth, Trinity, and resurrection with healthy scepticism“, says the hale senior official of East Prussian origin, who was born as the son of Gotthilf Dräcker, pastor of Gumbinnen near Suleyken in East prussia.
“In addition to that, also the years of educational work by the Federal Office for Magical Ceatures have done their part. The extensive scaremongering of the churches against harmless vampires, witches, demons and dragons led to hunt of magical citizens creatures for many centuries. Environmental criminals, like the so called dragonslayer St. Georg are seen in a new way nowadays. And in light of the abuse scandals in catholic churches and nursing homes parents are more than willing to give their children in the care of a friendly and neighbourhood affine vampires.“
Naturally not only the catholic church is affected by resignations. The so called Christendom in a whole is subject to a process of erosion. The Hierarchies of the church in their sacred skirts, who at best encounter laughter but in most cases pure rejection with their statements on the social reality, like marriage for all and their other endeavours, run out of new priestly blood.
A pastor in the US is menacing with self-immolation
“We still wait for the announced self-immolation of the Texan pastor Rick Scarbourough after the introduction of the marriage for all by the surpreme court”, say some members of the FOMC-Department for Gender and Gender Equality. “The announcement of the catholic church to go ahead against the marriage for all worldwide, will fall flat without effect too”
Young men do not want to engage themselves unilateral with christian fantastical literature and their origins, but also live their lives with their family or partner. Furthermore, a teaching, according which a father lets his son being tortured to death at a cross to pay tickets does not appeal to the youth welfare office.
“Such a father would get a visit of the youth welfare office which would give the poor son into good foster care“, says the, due to such fathers, enraged president. With the teaching of the encyclical “With great Enthusiasm“ Edmund F. Dräcker will contribute again to the education of the mature German citizens, so that they keep their greatest possible distance to church & co..