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The queer Special Department for Gay Magical Creatures

An increasing emancipation of the gay part of the magical population is taking place. What seemed to be unthinkable a few years ago now becomes reality. Therefore, the Federal Office for Magical Creatures initiated a Special Department for Gay Fantasy – a queer one in the truest sense of the word. Employees of this Special Department also poke their noses into other Special Departments, as gay vampires, dragons, demons, and other members of the magical population don’t have an easy life, even today.

Gay Nephilim, gay dragons, and the nice next-door gay vampire

Magnus Bane, a gay magician
Magnus Bane, a gay magician

Even when gay magicians, and Nephilim, as recently in City of Bones gently, positively, and credibly represented queer issues, there is still a long way until the nice gay next-door vampire will also have gotten his rights.

However, there are early proves of queer life even in the Bible. But who starts to think about the life of a son of God before he was nailed to the cross in an SM-session 2000 years ago? Before that, Jesus, coming from a conservative craftsman’s family, roamed the countryside with his girlfriend and twelve guys, had no residential address, and was not married at the age of 30! He worked wonders, walked on water and resurrected dead people. He celebrated parties with 5,000 uninvited guests attending at one time. Whoever is a party-loving scene denizen and organizer and has experienced something like that in his life, knows how hard it is to make wine out of water and to have enough bread in the house.

Now what is all that telling to the modern, enlightened, and gay magician of today? Yeah. And we haven‘t even talked about the jealousy-scenes with Judas, which ended so tragically. Actually, some researchers link the foundation-stories about vampires to Judas. So far, the Federal Office for Magical Creatures does not know in detail, how gay vampires enjoy parties, and if an additional definition has to be found for the term “bloodlust” in the future. Anyway, we don’t know, if we really want to know this.

However, it is a fact, that the apologists of the said craftsman’s son even today run around in gold-stitched dresses, wear thick rings as well as breast-jewelry with precious stones and remain preferably amongst themselves.  In most cases they panic when their queer actions become known. Their magic is drastically on the decline; their cheap juggling tricks can no longer blend the public, which can well decide between true magic and dead rituals, covered by burning incense.

Der Vampir Cosmin und sein Opfer, Illustration von mandelbrot
Der Vampir Cosmin und sein Opfer, Illustration von mandelbrot

Thus, even the gay vampire and werewolf may enter from the dark of the night into the light of day and fight for his queer issues. Just as the gay dragon-rider, or the gay shadow-hunter may regard themselves as valuable members of the magical society. Any respective prejudices can no longer be accepted today. Therefore, after the incident with the Steinbach-pentagram, the queer Special Department for Gay Fantasy has successfully worked for the banishment of the witch Erika S. into the black hell. Before that, her witchcraft was completely withdrawn from her.

More magical creatures with queer parts

Our researches, which, due to the increasing migration, take also other cultures into account, show clear hints that it will take great efforts until the rights of the gay community will be valid for all magical creatures. Recently, for instance, we found documents with hidden and indirect hints to the existence of gay Djin, Marid, and Ifrit.

According to Badr al-Din al-Schibli, the unification of a human male and a Djiniyah can result in “effeminate” boys. The society of Djins is said to correspond to that of mankind. Thus, both facts are clear indications for the existence of gay djins.

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